I'm on the verge of breaking down due to my relationship with my parents.

Parents - Teenager strain relationship.

Lately, I've been arguing a lot with my parents, for shutting myself in my room many times,

I didn't really do well in AS trials especially Physic and Chemistry, 

In order for me do well, I have to sacrifice something.

And telling my trials results to my parents is a NO-NO for me.

I know, I'm a smart student, but I was lazy or didn't do much revision and putting any effort in scoring the subject. 

Results can be backstabber sometimes, 

You really did tried your best testing on your understanding on the topic being taught,

But it didn't really produce the result you intend to see with your own eyes.

Going back home with a bad grade,

I know my parents care for my studies and also hopping I would do well in my exam,

1st factor:

When there's a time in high school, I told them I flunked my Additional Mathematics, Physics and Chemistry.

In my heart, I know they disappointed with my results, and as for me as a daughter, would wanna seek comfort to cast out my sorrows on my bad result, and get encouragement and motivations from them to improve my grades. 

Instead, my parents and I didn't talk for 2 days due to my result and at the same time giving me the glare for flunking on the subject, such eye sore for them on me. 

From that onward, I never slip out my results to notify my parents because is a already routine for them.

Personally, I do wish I can spend more time as well communicating and bonding with my parents,

As the years goes by, whenever  there's a topic being brought up, is either my parents and I don't see eye to eye or gauze brawling moment the next. 

Deep down, I would want to come to parents and talk to them, seek their advises, and I would wanna hear the reasons and advises I intend to hear. But it rarely happens.

I know I'm blessed with many privileges but I still love them no matter because blood is thicker than water.

2nd factor:

My parents and I have trust issues sometimes, like, my responsibility on doing the chores, friends whom I hang out with, intentional or unintentional actions on some situations and the list goes on.

Start with friends, occasionally, I would wish my mum would have the time to get to know my friends a tad, 

Eg. I would go green eye on Francine sometimes because her mum willingly take her time to get to know her friends whom she hangs out with, like Tryphena, seems there's never a trust issue on her daughter on whom she hangs out with .

My parents have no problem of me hanging out with girls and all, but boys is different story, my mum in detail, I have lots of guy friends and we are really friends, and I have some close friends with guys.

Its really annoying sometimes that my mum would jump the gun to the issues of making friends with opposite sex, indifferently have sexual attractions AND STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ME FROM DATING!

OK the dating part I get it, but hanging out with guy friends lead to sexual attractions --> dating??!!!

*FACEPALM*

Seriously??!!! 

Hormones are the freaking mediums to lead to sexual attractions!

Not that I blame my hormones but,

In order to establish friendship, 

I need to meet people,

I need to spend some time trying to get to know them, 

They are sent into my life for a reason, and for that, I would have lots of intention on seeking those reasons out,

It takes time.

Sometimes, people thinks that I have chemistry with my guy friend, intentionally mistaken we are together together!
Seriously, what the hell???
Like I even care what people think about my relationship with him.

Compatibility? 

Communication?

Maturity and Rational thinking on handling the situation?

Trust on both sides??

And the list goes on
eventually will naturally evolve into a love relationship or whatever you wanna call it.
Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't, it can be avoidable sometimes.

All it ever take is time! TAKES TIME DOUCHE BAG! 

All I ever hope that my mum would trust me enough that I make the right decision on mingling the right crowd. I know I do. 

All this time, my caution barrier are always on, and if I got myself in sticky situation, I would WASTE NO TIME, removing myself from there. If I stumble upon on a cross road I would seek advises from my parents and close figuratively trusted people to help me make the right choice and decisions no matter what.

I know I tend to make mistakes and I wanna learn from it, become part of my experiences on making the right choice in the future. I'm still learning and growing. :)

3rd:
Going to church and 2 hours max of services is no problem for me.. but especially to some duration of the services in certain churches, it goes beyond 2 hours. As for me, in that 2 hours, I could actually learn and understand on the concept behind the topic of subject i'm struggling on. 

As for that, I would switch churches that actually goes along with the schedule. Not extended time, where's totally beyond.

I would love to go to church, praise and worship with friends, seek God's presence and be joyful in His name. 

4th:
I know my parents would be supportive on outdoor activities that will enhance my leadership skills and also how to cooperate in a team. In my point of view, I find it more interesting than studying. =.=
Recognition and support is all ever I want from my parents,
Reading is what I like to do,
I love reading lots and when the shopping mall,
My first stop will always be the bookstore,
I would buy lots of fictions and novels especially romance, fantasy and a tad of sci-fictions with my own allowance.
Writing is my newly found talent recently,
I find writing very pleasurably, and also comforting, as I'm breaking my habit of bottling up everything.
A wonderful healing medicine.
Dancing is what I love most,
Previously, all I ever did was just expressing my feelings in dancing, Message behind the story on every routine was hard to understand and decipher. But as I get into the rhythm and lyrics, I understand myself more than ever as I get into character behind.
Never thought that it would so addictive. :)

Finally: 

I know I get lots of criticisms and lectures from my parents due my behavior and all.
Will to change my habit, I intend and will,

Will to be a better person, I'll strive for it,

Will to be a close the open wide gap between us, I intend to make it happen,

I'm still growing and learning.

Some situations are meant to happen more than once, or else I won't learn from mistakes and make the right choice presently that will affect my future entirely. 

I love my parents dearly, I hope that both parties can be open to one another.

Sometimes, all it takes one party to become a listener instead of cutting each off. :)

Giving advises which is must when situations on making the right choices or decisions are on critical stages or minority. :)