Past few days, I've been having weird dreams about him.
Then, as the scene shifted, we're talking to each other face to face after a month.
I keep telling myself I can survive without even seeing him till like forever.
Awesomeness mark for me ONLY IF i can pull it through

But the deep sense of missing him and him in mind lingers.
I'm very confused about myself.
Its painful that came over the fact of what he did because of our close friend ask him to.
Its a slap on the face though.

How much the reason on how I putting him in such difficult position because of me.
How I get embarrassed easily whenever I did something wrong in front him.
Crap, is like all high school crush all over again.
How i will continue to hurt myself even more than ever if I see him.

But the deep sense of losing him is killing me everyday.
It hurts more than seeing him..
He gave up on me..
But I haven't.

It hurts so much I just wanna put my head in the mud like an ostrich when getting scared.