31 days of my life,
Leaving me right here,
Lengthen my wingspan,
Tempted to soar,
Tempest and thundery rain,
Trapped me,
Within the stronghold of darkness.
Stood still on a crossroad,
Choices and decisions,
Can I survive?
Stay or risk?
Awaits.
Fears crawling onto my nape,
Sending deep cold shivers down my body,
Clipping my dull ebony broad wings,
With my primaries exposed to the electrifying lightning,
Reflecting every imperfect edges,
Perching on the edge of the cliff,
overseeing the opportunity to escape,
within the grasp of darkness,
A small dot of rare illuminator out of nowhere,
Exploded with a sudden burst of energy,
strikes my fragile scarred heart,
Split moments,
the hollow shaft of my dull ebony feather unfledged,
swaying its way towards the ground,
Sadden that it no longer has its way to help me,
Feeling of something penetrating out from my follicles,
Wailing as the pain traveled in my body,
As the song of sorrow ended,
I was free,
The lightness in my body tingled as I moved.
As the gloomy clouds floated away,
bright burst of warm ray illuminated my perched area,
Releasing the iridescence glow that blinded my eyes.
Flexing my newly fledged wings,
letting the gentle wind seeped through each vanes and contour feathers.
Slowly, I took off and never looked back.
I know I'll survive for another day.
Friday, 3 February 2012
Monday, 23 January 2012
Thursday, 5 January 2012
2012!!!!
Happy New Year peeps!
I've really caught up with EB stuff, clubs, meetings, my past years, orientation games and blah blah..
Well, club meeting with the juniors..and it was quite amazing...
Majorities of the juniors in my club are violinists.. AWESOME!! :P
As I get on with the list of newly registered members in the campuses's computer lab,
Arthur suddenly told me that he's coming to get his A-level cert.
From that onward, I was quite distracted, my mind was quite heavy with the thought of seeing him.
Despite what happened to us 6 months ago, I wanted to say hi.
However, today turns out really different. I walked out from the lecture hall right after a brainstorming of maths,
I saw him right on the stairs, talking to Abby and Marie, our eyes met.
Within seconds, I gripped tightly onto my organizer notebook, looked down and scurried down the stairs passed him, pretended that I didn't see him right there.
It didn't really matters to me anymore, because after 3 months of not talking to each other. I pretended that he didn't exist in my life. How much it hurts me to have that kind of mindset, but I have to stay strong for myself.
It was really upsetting. I thought I could handle the new year and just ignore anything that was related to him.
Seems like it backfired.
Some of my friends knew my stories with him, they were quite concerned about me, and really asked me whether did I see him or not.
I simply answered NO, I didn't see him.
that scene of me scurried down the stairs keep replaying in my head like a slideshow, showing every sequence of my actions and body language.
I guess it didn't bother him much, after all, its not like he cares or anything.
Besides, that would be the last time, he stepped into the campus.
Marie, Abby and Shanny didn't questioned me anything for the whole day.
I don't even to share it with Abby or Marie because I knew that I was quite burdensome when telling them the story with the same characters again & again! It upsets me a lot.
Now, even dinner was chaotic, I told my parents about the orientation game that will be going be on this week, and my dad was giving me this dirty look. I was expecting them to say Ok, but be sure to blah blah! Reality: It gets worse. They really criticized me for not being caring what I do. as long i do my part in studying, the list of me being ungrateful and take things for granted.
I hate my dad when he says that. but somehow, it upsets me even more..
T_T
Happy New Year peeps!
I've really caught up with EB stuff, clubs, meetings, my past years, orientation games and blah blah..
Well, club meeting with the juniors..and it was quite amazing...
Majorities of the juniors in my club are violinists.. AWESOME!! :P
As I get on with the list of newly registered members in the campuses's computer lab,
Arthur suddenly told me that he's coming to get his A-level cert.
From that onward, I was quite distracted, my mind was quite heavy with the thought of seeing him.
Despite what happened to us 6 months ago, I wanted to say hi.
However, today turns out really different. I walked out from the lecture hall right after a brainstorming of maths,
I saw him right on the stairs, talking to Abby and Marie, our eyes met.
Within seconds, I gripped tightly onto my organizer notebook, looked down and scurried down the stairs passed him, pretended that I didn't see him right there.
It didn't really matters to me anymore, because after 3 months of not talking to each other. I pretended that he didn't exist in my life. How much it hurts me to have that kind of mindset, but I have to stay strong for myself.
It was really upsetting. I thought I could handle the new year and just ignore anything that was related to him.
Seems like it backfired.
Some of my friends knew my stories with him, they were quite concerned about me, and really asked me whether did I see him or not.
I simply answered NO, I didn't see him.
that scene of me scurried down the stairs keep replaying in my head like a slideshow, showing every sequence of my actions and body language.
I guess it didn't bother him much, after all, its not like he cares or anything.
Besides, that would be the last time, he stepped into the campus.
Marie, Abby and Shanny didn't questioned me anything for the whole day.
I don't even to share it with Abby or Marie because I knew that I was quite burdensome when telling them the story with the same characters again & again! It upsets me a lot.
Now, even dinner was chaotic, I told my parents about the orientation game that will be going be on this week, and my dad was giving me this dirty look. I was expecting them to say Ok, but be sure to blah blah! Reality: It gets worse. They really criticized me for not being caring what I do. as long i do my part in studying, the list of me being ungrateful and take things for granted.
I hate my dad when he says that. but somehow, it upsets me even more..
T_T
Saturday, 31 December 2011
10 reasons to move on and get on with your life.
1. you gotta let the next happiness coming into your life.
2. smile and stay strong
3. you are yourself and no one can take that away from you
4. everyone is special in their own way (comparisons are out of bounds bitches!!)
5. you have the support of your friends and family.
6. be appreciative of every moments in life.
7. remember who you are and never stray fro your principles.
8. just be yourself because that's where the beauty of yourself comes from
9. unique? yes you are
10. emotional, physically, mentally strong... :)
1. you gotta let the next happiness coming into your life.
2. smile and stay strong
3. you are yourself and no one can take that away from you
4. everyone is special in their own way (comparisons are out of bounds bitches!!)
5. you have the support of your friends and family.
6. be appreciative of every moments in life.
7. remember who you are and never stray fro your principles.
8. just be yourself because that's where the beauty of yourself comes from
9. unique? yes you are
10. emotional, physically, mentally strong... :)
Thursday, 29 December 2011
wow...2011 just flew by just like that...
I still remember I detested on going to college, right here in the city..
I never like it..
In the end, I reflected back upon myself where my first love story, my first heartbreak, my first love, and how it affected me throughout the year..
I'm really grateful for everything and all the people I've met.
They've helped me so much...and I got through my insecurities...gave me a new perspective.
I love them very much no doubt..
Happy New Year 2012 peeps! :)
I still remember I detested on going to college, right here in the city..
I never like it..
In the end, I reflected back upon myself where my first love story, my first heartbreak, my first love, and how it affected me throughout the year..
I'm really grateful for everything and all the people I've met.
They've helped me so much...and I got through my insecurities...gave me a new perspective.
I love them very much no doubt..
Happy New Year 2012 peeps! :)
Thursday, 22 December 2011
I just came back from my vacation..and it was awesome!
Its being just a long time since i been on a vacation outside out of my state...
I love to travel but sometimes my high school are lil crazy when it comes to popping up extra classes during the holidays!
Well, I still love the extra classes...
Anyhow,
my mind keep wondering about him.
sigh...
why it is so painful?
I'm stuck here. Unable to move on! sigh!
Its being just a long time since i been on a vacation outside out of my state...
I love to travel but sometimes my high school are lil crazy when it comes to popping up extra classes during the holidays!
Well, I still love the extra classes...
Anyhow,
my mind keep wondering about him.
sigh...
why it is so painful?
I'm stuck here. Unable to move on! sigh!
Thursday, 15 December 2011
knowing that you never want to see me breaks my heart.
hiding behind the pillar, watching your beautiful back
which I used to lay my head on. gesturing in comfort.
Now, in my autumn wear,
knowing i could never have you,
Couldn't bear the pain any longer,
I walk away from that spot turning my back onto you.
knowing that,
there's no hope between us.
deep in my heart,
hoping the pieces of my heart
are able to transmit into your guts,
hoping that, you'll hold me in your arms once again
and never letting me go....
hiding behind the pillar, watching your beautiful back
which I used to lay my head on. gesturing in comfort.
Now, in my autumn wear,
knowing i could never have you,
Couldn't bear the pain any longer,
I walk away from that spot turning my back onto you.
knowing that,
there's no hope between us.
deep in my heart,
hoping the pieces of my heart
are able to transmit into your guts,
hoping that, you'll hold me in your arms once again
and never letting me go....
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