2012!!!!
Happy New Year peeps!
I've really caught up with EB stuff, clubs, meetings, my past years, orientation games and blah blah..
Well, club meeting with the juniors..and it was quite amazing...
Majorities of the juniors in my club are violinists.. AWESOME!! :P
As I get on with the list of newly registered members in the campuses's computer lab,
Arthur suddenly told me that he's coming to get his A-level cert.
From that onward, I was quite distracted, my mind was quite heavy with the thought of seeing him.
Despite what happened to us 6 months ago, I wanted to say hi.
However, today turns out really different. I walked out from the lecture hall right after a brainstorming of maths,
I saw him right on the stairs, talking to Abby and Marie, our eyes met.
Within seconds, I gripped tightly onto my organizer notebook, looked down and scurried down the stairs passed him, pretended that I didn't see him right there.
It didn't really matters to me anymore, because after 3 months of not talking to each other. I pretended that he didn't exist in my life. How much it hurts me to have that kind of mindset, but I have to stay strong for myself.
It was really upsetting. I thought I could handle the new year and just ignore anything that was related to him.
Seems like it backfired.
Some of my friends knew my stories with him, they were quite concerned about me, and really asked me whether did I see him or not.
I simply answered NO, I didn't see him.
that scene of me scurried down the stairs keep replaying in my head like a slideshow, showing every sequence of my actions and body language.
I guess it didn't bother him much, after all, its not like he cares or anything.
Besides, that would be the last time, he stepped into the campus.
Marie, Abby and Shanny didn't questioned me anything for the whole day.
I don't even to share it with Abby or Marie because I knew that I was quite burdensome when telling them the story with the same characters again & again! It upsets me a lot.
Now, even dinner was chaotic, I told my parents about the orientation game that will be going be on this week, and my dad was giving me this dirty look. I was expecting them to say Ok, but be sure to blah blah! Reality: It gets worse. They really criticized me for not being caring what I do. as long i do my part in studying, the list of me being ungrateful and take things for granted.
I hate my dad when he says that. but somehow, it upsets me even more..
T_T